Thirteen Times
by spazzo-sama
Summary: Someone's driving Zexion up the wall... [Zexion x ? if you squint long enough or look at it under a high powered microscope]


Okay. Well, most of you people reading this have probably read my other fic, which is a YuGiOh GX fic and in no way related to this one. I thought of this at about 10 PM on a Wednesday night when I was supposed to be going to bed. Instead, I spent about an hour writing this embarrassingly short one-shot and got up the next morning extremely tired and walked into the doorframe. You people might also be confuzzled by all the 'he's. It's that person I'm referring to below. In any case…

Okay, so this story is a random Kingdom Hearts II fic. It's Zexion x ? if you squint at it long enough. ? is a member of Organization XIII, but the entire point of the fic is to keep you guessing who it is. Unless you're Kayla and I already told you who it is. And if it doesn't make sense… I really don't care.

Disclaimer: JJ doesn't own Kingdom Hearts. If she did… you'd know. Trust me.

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The first time it happened, Zexion didn't care much. He was used to strange things, and this wasn't any different.

The second time it happened, Zexion felt a small twinge of annoyance. Really, did he _have_ to use Zexion's private bathroom? Zexion simply rolled his eyes back into his head and shut the door.

The third time, Zexion found himself getting rather annoyed. What could be possibly be doing in there? Didn't he have his own bathroom to do that in? Zexion slammed the door and began to read a text on mental diseases.

The fourth time Zexion walked in on him, he was just a touch creeped out. It was the fourth day in a row. What was so great about his bathroom anyway? Although Zexion probably would never admit it, he was getting nervous about what was going on in his bathroom.

The fifth time, Zexion chased him out of the room with one of Axel's flamethrowers. Zexion chased the rather disheveled teenager through the hallway, not stopping until said teenager was back in his own room where he belonged. Zexion kicked the door again for good measure, then stalked back to his own room and resumed reading that book on mental illnesses.

The sixth time, Zexion walked in on him doing it while giggling like a lunatic at the same time. Something about the Superior, names, and anagrams. Needless to say, this didn't make for a very happy Cloaked Schemer. "AUGH! Zexion! Chill!" he yelped as Zexion flung him out the door. Grumbling, Zexion sat down and went back to the book that he was dying to finish.

The seventh time it happened, Zexion went and 'borrowed' one of Xigbar's guns and decided to play an impromptu game of tag with the lunatic who kept showing up in his bathroom. Said lunatic ended up knocking on Vexen's door looking like a human-shaped hunk of swiss cheese. No one ever accused Zexion of having a good aim.

The eighth time the aforementioned deranged lunatic showed up in his bathroom, Zexion chucked the large psychology textbook he'd been reading at the idiot's head. Said idiot was later seen with his head wrapped in bandages and an ugly purple lump protruding from the back of his head.

The ninth time he showed, Zexion chucked one of Xaldin's spears at him. True to form, he missed his target completely, and so decided to take the easy approach. Which was why Zexion was then seen by several other Organization XIII members chasing the annoying pest down the hallway with a spear leveled out in front of him. He was playing tag. With a spear point.

The tenth time he showed up uninvited in Zexion's bathroom, Zexion decided to take a leaf out of Saïx's ­book. This meant 'borrowing' one of Saïx's sword things and chasing his uninvited guest around the courtyard as the other members of Organization XIII watched, amused. Zexion clearly remembered Xemnas rolling his eyes and shaking his head, Larxene collapsing into fits of sadistic laughter, and Luxord taking bets on how long it would be before a certain someone died.

The eleventh time he showed up without any warning, Zexion was beginning to lose it. His mind, anyway. So he attempted to solve the problem by putting cyanide in his guest's pancakes. Unfortunately, he'd forgotten that a certain someone would only eat waffles on Sunday mornings, and was a Nobody on top of that. Nobodies don't die by conventional means.

The twelfth time it happened, Zexion chucked him off the roof of The Castle That Never Was. Nobody ever accused him of being weak again. Unfortunately, the chucked being used his trench coat as a parachute.

The thirteenth time it happened, Zexion lost his mind.

Xemnas was in a meeting with Saïx and Vexen, over Evil Plot #496-2RB-2. "—so you see, this will be more effective than just sending them in directly." Vexen explained, pointing at a complicated diagram. Xemnas and Saïx tried to look like they knew what was going on. Which they didn't.

"Yes, but how—?" Saïx was interrupted by a commotion from downstairs.

"GOD DANGIT, DEMYX!" Zexion screeched. "QUIT BORROWING MY HAIR GEL!"

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Eheh… well, even though that sucked, I'd still like to hear what you all thought of it. This thing isn't even a thousand words.

Heh… you really have to squint to get this thing to even resemble a Zexion x Demyx fic. And Zexion is emo. Ha.


End file.
